Book Review: Attached
This post was originally published February 7, 2019
It seems like every week, I end up recommending Levine and Heller’s Attached to another client or friend. It’s just so freaking good. It’s well known that our brains are not fully developed until we are 25 years old. So, in addition to our early childhood experiences, it only makes sense that our early relationships during adolescence would also have an enormous impact on our attachment styles later on. Whether attachment theory is a new concept for you, or whether you are an attachment enthusiast, this book breaks down attachment in a way that is both practical and transformative. Seriously, next time you watch This is Us, or the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (yes, guilty), you’ll be noticing bids for attachment and activated attachment systems all over the place. If history seems to repeat itself ad nauseam or you find yourself making the same relationship mistakes over and over and over, picking different versions of the same partner, this book can help you understand how your attachment style shows up and how you can move towards a place of learned security.
One of the great exercises Levine and Heller lead you through is the Relationship Inventory. This exercise helps you put past relationships into attachment terms in order to better understand what was driving and maintaining the conflict, as well as how attachment plays a role in what partners you are drawn to in the first place. By becoming more mindful of how our attachment style impacts our interactions with loved ones, we can begin healing and become more secure.
If you are interested in learning about attachment, this book is an awesome place to start. (Click here to order now!) If you are interested in taking a step further in exploring your attachment style and really taking a deep dive into your relationships, we are here to walk alongside you and help you start making healthier choices. Feel free to reach out and book an appointment!
Kristen Hamilton-Block works with youth and adults struggling with depression, anxiety , trauma and relationship issues that are a result of any form of trauma. She uses an AEDP and Emotion-Focused lens to explore our emotions in order to improve self-worth, relationships and overall quality of life. In her free time, Kristen can be found trying out a new recipe, reading a good thriller or spending time with friends and family.